Ukulele Conquerors
by BabyDaddyMufasa
Summary: "Sorry I'm late Professor Trelawney. I saw an Umgubular Slashkilter and was trying to see if it had a collar so I could return it to the owner." And so, Loopy Luna Lovegood skips over to the only seat available. The one directly opposite me. a teeny bit DxL


Hi people :) Week 2 of somethingaboutthemoon's prompt challenge. This week, I got the sentence _**The Elizabethan secret service get together when the ukulele goes missing**___and my prompt for her this week was _**"So, how do the zebras come into this?" **_So, enjoy and review, and feel free to suggest a particularly horrible prompt word for **the most supermegafoxyawesomehot person in the world,** aka somethingaboutthemoon.

I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER, I DON'T EVEN OWN A UKULELE...

Ukulele Conquerors

Draco's POV

Let's get this straight, the only reason I took divination was for a sit off. I had much more important things to do this year than studying little tricks; I'd rather be back in the Room of Requirement, fixing the vanishing cabinet. But the world has decided to hate Draco Malfoy, it probably envies my hair. Now, Firenze is ill so Trelawney is taking the class.

"Class, do not fret that Firenze is ill. I foresaw this occasion and he will be back on his feet by the weekend. So-"

"Wait, you foresaw Firenze getting ill, and didn't bother to tell him?" I cut across her. I couldn't help it. I'd missed taunting the mudbloods and the lousy teachers like this fraud here and that big oaf Hagrid.

"Mr Malfoy, Firenze apparently, like me, has the capabilities of a Seer." Her voice was lower than normal, she was gripping her teacup like she wanted it to shatter, and I'm sure I just saw her shudder when she said Firenze. "Surely it is his duty to prioritise his health. Although I have the gifts available I cannot inform the entire world of upcoming illnesses." Wow, clearly someone is having Sherry withdrawal symptoms. But the sound of someone coming up the ladder distracts her.

"Sorry I'm late Professor Trelawney. I saw an Umgubular Slashkilter and was trying to see if it had a collar so I could return it to the owner."

Fifty house points to anyone who can guess who the newcomer is!

"It's quite alright, dear. Please take a seat."

And so, Loopy Luna Lovegood skips over to the only seat available.

The one directly opposite me.

"Did you know Cornelius Fudge has an Umgubular Slashkilter?" Loopy suddenly got a dazed look in her eyes, whether it was at the Um- whatever they were or Cornelius Fudge... I'd rather not know but I may as well humour the girl.

"No, did you know McGonagall owns seven moon frogs? She keeps them inside her pillowcase." Clearly she didn't catch on to my sarcasm as she looked at me wide eyed. This girl may be a Ravenclaw, but she isn't quick.

"My gosh, surely that can't be healthy, the Earth's atmosphere will be unfamiliar to them."

"No, its fine, McGonagall enchanted her pillowcase to have the moon's atmosphere, they're perfectly fine." The girl was actually nodding like this makes sense; maybe this lesson could be fun.

"Today children," Trelawney cut across us, but Loopy was distracted, clearly pondering unusual atmospheric pillowcases. "I would like you to think back to last night, and tell your partner your dreams, your partner will then tell you what this foreshadows, please turn to page 54 in your textbooks for this exercise."

Oh shit. I'm looking at Loopy, sweet innocent Loopy, and I know I can't tell her my dream last night, and I don't need that textbook to tell me why I dreamt it.

It was because Daphne Greengrass just had to bend over right in front of me in potions yesterday to pick up the bezoar she dropped. She was in that _very_ low top and incredibly short school skirt that tells you itself why she was placed in Slytherin.

Loopy's found the page and is now looking at me expectantly. I can't tell her my dream; it would be too much for her. Think, Malfoy, you're smart, make one up. She believed the Moon Frogs crap.

"I dreamt about... a ukulele..." I finish weakly. Improvisation wasn't my strong point, she'll never believe that.

"Well, there's no ukulele section here, tell me more. Did the ukulele have a personality? Or was it inanimate?"

"Inanimate." As much as I want to make up something about a drunken singing ukulele, I doubt Loopy would be that gullible.

"Well, a Seer's dreams are meant to foreshadow the future, was there anything there that was modern or futuristic in your dream?"

"No, it was set ages ago, the Elizabethan era, the ukulele belonged to Elizabethan people, they worshiped it." No idea where this stuff is coming from, but Loopy was happily jotting down everything I said, possibly to read it as a bedtime story to the Nargles later.

"Why would Elizabethan people worship a ukulele?"

"Ever considered it's a special ukulele?"

"Makes sense." Luna said, smiling and jotting away. "So, are these ordinary Elizabethans?"

"Nope, the Elizabethan secret service." I say confidently as she raises an eyebrow, which is rather difficult to notice considering her eyebrows are almost as pale as mine.

"It could happen. Don't like my dream? Fine, we can talk about yours. Did it happen to involve you and Longbottom alone in the Room of Requirement? No worries Luna, I won't tell anyone." But she controls her blushing; stopping at only a mild pink then glares at me. Maybe Little Miss Loopy isn't quite as innocent as I thought. I cross my arms on the table, leaning in closer to her as she unconsciously mirrors me. I gain eye contact with her, our faces only two inches away so we can see every little detail on the others. My voice drops to almost a whisper.

"Or was it a broom cupboard?" My signature smirk slowly grows as she leans back, unable to control her blush that creeps up her cheeks, this time turning a satisfying deep crimson as I give her a wink and lean back.

"So, what happened with the ukulele, then?" Luna's still bright red, and looking at the ground. I accept the obvious attempt at changing the subject.

"Well, the Ukulele gets stolen" I start slowly, my smile growing. "It's taken to the moon, but that wasn't healthy because the moon's atmosphere was unfamiliar to the poor ukulele so the Elizabethan secret service got together when the ukulele went missing."

"Then you are truly a Seer!" She beams up at me, the dazed look once again clouding her eyes. Wait what?

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, you clearly foresaw your discovery of Professor McGonagall's Moon Frogs. Oh no, the ukulele not being healthy probably means that the spell on her pillowcase will expire soon. I'll tell her at Lunch."

"So, you think McGonagall took the ukulele?"

"Clearly she is the culprit. Does this make us the Elizabethan Secret service?" Her expression is deadly serious.

"Why of course, Luna." I'm keeping a calm exterior. Poor Luna's focussed on me like I'm preaching about Blibbering Humdingers. "We must stop the Ukulele Conquerors such as McGonagall, or the world will spiral into chaos."

"We can get the Wrackspurts to help us, I'll go signal them." Luna bounces excitedly then skips out of the divination lesson. Trelawney is just watching, gobsmacked.

"So, I guess you didn't see that coming, Professor Trelawney." She turns to glare at me, but a familiar, high pitched voice disturbs her thoughts.

"Hello Professor McGonagall. By the way I wanted to talk to you about the moon frogs in your pillowcase. I fear the charm maintaining the moon's atmosphere inside may expire soon..."

I think I'm going to enjoy divination a lot more from now on.

FIN

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